Today feels very sober to me. Coming
off the “high” that was Venus square Neptune accompanied with the
Moon and Venus both in blown up and beautiful Sagittarius and then
Moon plunging into stern and sturdy Saturn ruled Capricorn and
passing over Pluto, sobering makes wonderful sense. Does it not? But,
there is more to this than that.
I had this really disturbing dream last
night. I dreamed about a woman and her child in a car accident. I
heard about the news, in the dream, while I was picking through ears
of corn at a plant nursery.
In my waking life, I know the nursery
and the woman. When I woke up, I felt as if maybe I should tell her
about the dream. Maybe I should warn her. Maybe I should ask her to
drive carefully and avoid being distracted from the road.
The very thought of that alone was
perplexing. First, who comes up to a person and says, “Look, I had
this very disturbing dream about you and your child. You died. I saw
your guts in surgery. I saw your family crying. So, I just want you
to be careful. Ok?” Who says that and gets a good reaction? Who
says that and doesn’t set off some kind of internal alarm in some
way for the person they are speaking to? How is that effective?
So, instead, I’m looking at the sky
and I’m thinking about my dream. I’m seeing the Moon also moving
toward a sextile to Mercury in Scorpio and that it is just past a
sextile to Saturn in Scorpio and thinking…no, this is more deep
than that. This dream may be showing me something I need to know
about myself. But, what? Mercury winks at me and says, “Yes, there
is more. Let us look here behind this curtain and see a bit more.
Shall we? Let’s see what the guts of this are for you?”
Photo credit:
seisuzy from deviantart.com “Shadow behind the curtain”
As I’m contemplating that, I realize
in my dream when I was told about this car accident and who the
people were that were involved, up until that very moment, I didn’t
care about the woman at all. In my waking life, I don’t know much
about her. But, from observing her, I really don’t like her that
much. Now, how can you not like someone without knowing them at all?
Second, I realized that after hearing
the news about the accident, I felt really upset in my dream. All of
a sudden I cared? Does it take a fatal and grotesque tragedy to make
me care? Interesting.
I won’t be talking to this woman
about my dream. I will, however, give myself an attitude check and
actually try to get to know her a little better before I start
thinking ugly things and projecting my own “junk” over what I
find out only from observance. I will go deeper to recognize my own
demons instead of seeing them on the faces of everyone else.
Photo Credit:
Shadow—Knight (Julio) from deviantart.com “My Demons”
Hello Mercury in Scorpio! I had just
seen this woman the day before and my mind was reeling with nasty
thoughts about what it is I thought she was up to and how I thought
this and that at the time. I’m telling you, it was yuck. And, maybe
it is true; maybe it isn’t. How would I know for sure? And, how
does that matter? Given the fact that I DON’T know, tells me this
is probably more about me than her to begin with. Even more
interesting. I should probably stop that.
Like I said, today is sober. Mercury in
Scorpio can have us obsessing about the pathology of others. But, the
point is, what does that say about the pathology of us? Of you? As
much as I don’t like admitting I’m a schmuck (and there seems to
be a lot of that happening with Saturn moving through Scorpio),
there’s gold to be taken from that. What is wrong or debunk about
you can be changed by you. That has to be some relief right? Were it
never brought to our awareness we could never deal with it. Everyone
knows that no one else is going to deal with it for you. Plus, what
are you going to do about the conclusions you draw about someone
else’s possible demons? You can’t fix that either. Nor should you
try.
Which one of your psychological burdens
are you allowing someone else to carry? Who is it that you mentally
cursing? Do you have a secret subconscious nemesis? Are you able to
look even deeper below the surface and see that those tendencies,
those things that you are thinking about “them” may actually be
trying to tell you something about you?
Are you brave enough to see what
Mercury in Scorpio really needs you to see?
In case you were wondering, here are
some links about the symbolism of Corn.
That last link, I think, resonated with
me the most. The corn was still in the husk in my dream. I was
removing the husk and choosing ears to take home with me. From the
last link, I have this: “The seeds of corn also have the power of
life and growth in them unless they have been processed, as happens
with white rice and white flour, which is thus rendered ‘dead’.
They can thus indicate your potential for personal growth, but this
usually links with a power within yourself, the power of Life itself,
that has the ability to move you and unfold your potential. This
inner activity links your independent life with the whole.”
“The power within yourself that
has the ability to move you and unfold your potential”
Sometimes what we see about ourselves
isn’t all that pretty. But, there is POWER in that, if you are
willing to face it.
Don't fear the reaper. Ask him what the hell he wants.
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