Morning Star: Daily Astrology for January 11, 2015

This morning we wake up to the Moon in Libra. The only major aspect she makes today is a sextile to Saturn in Sagittarius. The aspect to Saturn grounds Libra and gives this potentially wishy-washy Moon a little more backbone. Perhaps wishy-washy is not a good phrase. The people I know with Libra Moons are not spineless. However, there is a tendency within the sign of Libra, itself, to be accommodating and a bit overly concerned about how the “other” feels about things. This tendency will sometimes lead to problems with assertiveness, which in turn can lead to all sorts of “other” problems.

Some of these “other” problems that can stem from a lack of assertiveness include difficulty in making decisions, passive-aggressive behavior, falling prey to co-dependency and lots more fun stuff like that.

I have personally had trouble fostering a sense of assertiveness due to several factors in my chart (and also early conditioning) but the biggest part of the problem came from the fact that I have SO much Libra PLUS an overly sensitive weak-boundaried Moon in Pisces. As a Libra, I have to tell you to please don't think that I'm berating these placements. I'm not. I love being a Libra and I adore my Pisces Moon. But, just like any other astrological placement, each brings challenges that we are called to meet in an order to learn and grow. This just happens to be one “challenge” that these two signs (and a few others) do present at times.

Let me give you an example. I have really poor eyesight. I've worn glasses since I was in the 5th grade. Therefore, I go to the eye doctor about once a year. Part of the examination at the eye doctor involves sitting in the exam chair behind a machine that holds various lenses of different corrective power. As I'm looking through the machine the doctor will cover one of my eyes and show me two lenses at a time on the uncovered eye. He will ask, “Which lens allows you to see more clearly? Lens one?” Then he clicks a switch to change the lens and says, “Or lens two?” And I answer....”Uh....” Because, typically, in similar situations, when presented with two or more options, I would look at who was presenting the options (or someone standing nearby, even) and say, “Oh, I don't know. What do think?” Well, it's kind of hard to ask that question when no one can look through your eyes and judge your own vision but you. You know?

Needless to say, I hate this exam. It's a veritable Libra nightmare. I feel bad for asking the Doctor to show me the options again and, yet, it is very hard for me to decide on my own which one makes my vision the best. When younger, I would play a little random game with the exam. I'd pick lens 1 three times, lens 2 twice and then lens 1 three times again. I would continue this random preset of choices until the Doctor thought he had enough information to write a prescription for my lenses. It's a miracle that I ever received a pair of glasses that actually helped my eyesight. It was easier for me to avoid the exercise entirely making a game out of it instead. My glasses may not be perfect but, in the end, the Doctor was happy. I was happy; because, he was happy and the exam was friction free. But, you know, in the long run this was about the least effective path I could take. The point of going to the eye doctor was so that I could see more clearly. Worrying about keeping everything smooth and amicable completely debased that purpose. But, still, I worried that I would wear down the Doctor's patience by asking him to show me the set of lenses again...and again. I worried that I would take up too much time during my visit and upset the other people waiting to be seen. I was afraid that my lack of ability to judge accurately would waste the time of others and, then, they would not like me or, at the very least, be uncomfortable or agitated with me. Then, I realized, “Goofy, if you walk out of the eye doctor without a set of corrective lenses that works for you, you are wasting EVERYONE'S time (including your own). It's just that YOU are the only one that knows about it and suffers for it.”

Even now that I know this is ineffective behavior, it hasn't changed how uncomfortable the exam is for me. I still apologize when I need to see the lenses again, “I'm so sorry. Can you slow down and show me again? I'm not sure.” I tediously chip away at the choices. In the end, I get a better result. But, those same worries about offending others or encroaching upon them are still there. Being aware of what causes my discomfort doesn't make it go away (which was quite a disappointing realization). But, I have to work through my discomfort instead of attempting to ineffectively relieve it in a way that debases the purpose of being there in the first place. I mean, I am going to be experiencing discomfort on either path (either during the exam or afterward when I can't see). I might as well choose the one that gives me the best result (better vision), right?

Fostering a solid sense of assertiveness is important. But, if you lack the ability, it can be the hardest dang thing to overcome. And, you know, this isn't just my problem as a Libra. There are other signs that struggle with this too. As a matter of fact, there is an entire generation of folks with Pluto in Libra and Chiron in Aries that holds potential for a wounded sense of assertiveness. Part of their task in life is to overcome things like this. A lack of assertiveness affects more than just a routine eye exam, too, I can tell ya that as fact. But, this is a good enough example to use, I think.
You know, when I first saw this I wanted to punch a Libra. Wait...I AM a Libra! Yeah I've still got stuff to work on too.

At any rate, the sextile from our Libra Moon to Saturn can help with some of this. Saturn can help Libra stand on more solid and practical ground. It assists with boundaries as well. That doesn't mean that assertively saying “No” in a situation feels any better if you typically struggle with that. It just means that Saturn is there to support you in those situations giving you responsibility toward a goal (like getting the best lenses) or by assisting you to develop enough of a boundary to realize what YOU are feeling versus what the “other” is feeling. Saturn gives a structure from which to operate from. Whereas Libra (and other placements in air) can mind screw a situation to death. We've got plenty of energy in Air right now with a larger influx to come as we get more near the New Moon in Aquarius WHILE our planet of “assertion” is swimming in Pisces.
Thankfully, though, there is also energy out there to assist us. Saturn in Sagittarius supports Aquarian energy by sextile and so does the most radical and independent placement we have in the sky right now, Uranus in Aries. The Universe often does that. It will give us a set of easy to recognize challenges either in the sky or in our chart. But, it also gives us the tools we need to cope with these challenges. However, we have to consciously seek them out to use them. For example, I have Saturn trine all my placements (except Pluto) in Libra. Plus, Uranus is also conjunct most of that stellium poking me to act more independently. But, I have to invoke these placements to use them. Their powers were not innately fostered. I had to work to develop them. It's not an easy process but it is doable.

All that being said, if while under the influence of this Libra Moon you feel indecisive, ineffective or torn between trying to make everyone else comfortable and minding your own sense of discomfort, reach for Saturn. Reach for your boundaries and the reality of the situation. Bear in mind the true goal of what you are engaging in and hold true to it even if it makes you uncomfortable. Learn that discomfort is often a catalyst for change and a clue to us that something needs to be balanced, adjusted or at the very least, addressed in a forthright manner. Say, “no” when you mean “no” and say “yes” when you mean “yes.” Avoid going along just to get along and, instead, be willing to work on problems that present themselves instead of just smiling and saying, “I'm fine” when you aren't. I know it can seem easier to just “put up and shut up” but in the end that builds resentment which isn't any fun either. Reach for Saturn. Be effectively assertive and stand your ground which you DO NOT have to be overbearing to do. Again, there is a balance to be struck there.

It helps to know your “rights” as an assertive person. Manuel J. Smith has illustrated some of this in his work “When I say no, I feel guilty” (The Dial Press, 1975). I will leave you with those “rights” to contemplate on your own.

Assertive Right I: You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself. (You have the right to be the ultimate judge of yourself. This the prime assertive right which allows no one to manipulate you.)

Assertive Right II: You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify your behavior.

Assertive Right III: You have The right to judge whether you are responsible for finding solutions to other people's problems. (Any of us can temporarily help another, but the ultimate solution, if any, has to be arrived at by each of us individually. If you do not recognize your right to be responsible only for yourself, others can manipulate you by presenting their own problems to you as if they were yours.)

Assertive Right IV: You have the right to change your mind.

Assertive Right V: You have the right to make mistakes---and be responsible for them.

Assertive Right VI: You have the right to say, “I don't know.”

Assertive Right VII: You ave the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them. (You do not need the goodwill of other people to deal with them effectively and assertively. Your behavior does not have to be liked or admired by those you deal with, nor do you have to be anxious because you feel you may not be liked. We tend to assume that others are too weak to cope with refusals for social activities or that they will be offended or that a relationship is impossible to maintain without 100% mutual agreement.) Josi interjects: In other words, if you need to say “No” say it and don't feel guilty about it even if the “other” person is always SO nice!

Assertive Right VIII: You have the right to say, “I don't understand.”

Assertive Right IV: (and this is probably my favorite) You have the right to say, “I don't care.” Smith says, “The childish belief is that because of your human condition you have many flaws. You must try to make up for this humanness by striving to improve until you are perfect in all ways. Being human, you will probably fail in this obligation, but you must still want to improve. If someone else points out how you can improve yourself, you are really obliged to follow his direction. If you do not, you are corrupt, lazy, degenerate and worthless and therefore unworthy of respect from anyone, including yourself. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY YOU DON'T CARE TO BE PERFECT ACCORDING TO ANYONE'S DEFINITION, INCLUDING YOUR OWN.” Ha! How freeing is that? Are you still with me Virgo peeps? That last one, I'm sure, was specifically written for you.