This morning we wake up to the Moon in
Libra. The only major aspect she makes today is a sextile to Saturn
in Sagittarius. The aspect to Saturn grounds Libra and gives this
potentially wishy-washy Moon a little more backbone. Perhaps
wishy-washy is not a good phrase. The people I know with Libra Moons
are not spineless. However, there is a tendency within the sign of
Libra, itself, to be accommodating and a bit overly concerned about
how the “other” feels about things. This tendency will sometimes
lead to problems with assertiveness, which in turn can lead to all
sorts of “other” problems.
Some of these “other” problems that
can stem from a lack of assertiveness include difficulty in making
decisions, passive-aggressive behavior, falling prey to co-dependency
and lots more fun stuff like that.
I have personally had trouble fostering
a sense of assertiveness due to several factors in my chart (and also
early conditioning) but the biggest part of the problem came from the
fact that I have SO much Libra PLUS an overly sensitive
weak-boundaried Moon in Pisces. As a Libra, I have to tell you to
please don't think that I'm berating these placements. I'm not. I
love being a Libra and I adore my Pisces Moon. But, just like any
other astrological placement, each brings challenges that we are
called to meet in an order to learn and grow. This just happens to be
one “challenge” that these two signs (and a few others) do
present at times.
Let me give you an example. I have
really poor eyesight. I've worn glasses since I was in the 5th
grade. Therefore, I go to the eye doctor about once a year. Part of
the examination at the eye doctor involves sitting in the exam chair
behind a machine that holds various lenses of different corrective
power. As I'm looking through the machine the doctor will cover one
of my eyes and show me two lenses at a time on the uncovered eye. He
will ask, “Which lens allows you to see more clearly? Lens one?”
Then he clicks a switch to change the lens and says, “Or lens two?”
And I answer....”Uh....” Because, typically, in similar
situations, when presented with two or more options, I would look at
who was presenting the options (or someone standing nearby, even) and
say, “Oh, I don't know. What do think?” Well, it's kind of hard
to ask that question when no one can look through your eyes and judge
your own vision but you. You know?
Needless to say, I hate this exam. It's
a veritable Libra nightmare. I feel bad for asking the Doctor to show
me the options again and, yet, it is very hard for me to decide on my
own which one makes my vision the best. When younger, I would play a
little random game with the exam. I'd pick lens 1 three times, lens 2
twice and then lens 1 three times again. I would continue this random
preset of choices until the Doctor thought he had enough information
to write a prescription for my lenses. It's a miracle that I ever
received a pair of glasses that actually helped my eyesight. It was
easier for me to avoid the exercise entirely making a game out of it
instead. My glasses may not be perfect but, in the end, the Doctor
was happy. I was happy; because, he was happy and the exam was
friction free. But, you know, in the long run this was about the
least effective path I could take. The point of going to the eye
doctor was so that I could see more clearly. Worrying about keeping
everything smooth and amicable completely debased that purpose. But,
still, I worried that I would wear down the Doctor's patience by
asking him to show me the set of lenses again...and again. I worried
that I would take up too much time during my visit and upset the
other people waiting to be seen. I was afraid that my lack of ability
to judge accurately would waste the time of others and, then, they
would not like me or, at the very least, be uncomfortable or agitated
with me. Then, I realized, “Goofy, if you walk out of the eye
doctor without a set of corrective lenses that works for you, you are
wasting EVERYONE'S time (including your own). It's just that YOU are
the only one that knows about it and suffers for it.”
Even now that I know this is
ineffective behavior, it hasn't changed how uncomfortable the exam is
for me. I still apologize when I need to see the lenses again, “I'm
so sorry. Can you slow down and show me again? I'm not sure.” I
tediously chip away at the choices. In the end, I get a better
result. But, those same worries about offending others or encroaching
upon them are still there. Being aware of what causes my discomfort
doesn't make it go away (which was quite a disappointing
realization). But, I have to work through my discomfort instead of
attempting to ineffectively relieve it in a way that debases the
purpose of being there in the first place. I mean, I am going to be
experiencing discomfort on either path (either during the exam or
afterward when I can't see). I might as well choose the one that
gives me the best result (better vision), right?
Fostering a solid sense of
assertiveness is important. But, if you lack the ability, it can be
the hardest dang thing to overcome. And, you know, this isn't just my
problem as a Libra. There are other signs that struggle with this
too. As a matter of fact, there is an entire generation of folks with
Pluto in Libra and Chiron in Aries that holds potential for a wounded
sense of assertiveness. Part of their task in life is to overcome
things like this. A lack of assertiveness affects more than just a
routine eye exam, too, I can tell ya that as fact. But, this is a
good enough example to use, I think.
You know, when I first saw this I wanted to punch a Libra. Wait...I AM a Libra! Yeah I've still got stuff to work on too. |
At any rate, the sextile from our Libra
Moon to Saturn can help with some of this. Saturn can help Libra
stand on more solid and practical ground. It assists with boundaries
as well. That doesn't mean that assertively saying “No” in a
situation feels any better if you typically struggle with that. It
just means that Saturn is there to support you in those situations
giving you responsibility toward a goal (like getting the best
lenses) or by assisting you to develop enough of a boundary to
realize what YOU are feeling versus what the “other” is feeling.
Saturn gives a structure from which to operate from. Whereas Libra
(and other placements in air) can mind screw a situation to death.
We've got plenty of energy in Air right now with a larger influx to
come as we get more near the New Moon in Aquarius WHILE our planet of
“assertion” is swimming in Pisces.
Thankfully, though, there is also energy out there to assist us. Saturn in Sagittarius supports Aquarian energy by sextile and so does the most radical and independent placement we have in the sky right now, Uranus in Aries. The Universe often does that. It will give us a set of easy to recognize challenges either in the sky or in our chart. But, it also gives us the tools we need to cope with these challenges. However, we have to consciously seek them out to use them. For example, I have Saturn trine all my placements (except Pluto) in Libra. Plus, Uranus is also conjunct most of that stellium poking me to act more independently. But, I have to invoke these placements to use them. Their powers were not innately fostered. I had to work to develop them. It's not an easy process but it is doable.
Thankfully, though, there is also energy out there to assist us. Saturn in Sagittarius supports Aquarian energy by sextile and so does the most radical and independent placement we have in the sky right now, Uranus in Aries. The Universe often does that. It will give us a set of easy to recognize challenges either in the sky or in our chart. But, it also gives us the tools we need to cope with these challenges. However, we have to consciously seek them out to use them. For example, I have Saturn trine all my placements (except Pluto) in Libra. Plus, Uranus is also conjunct most of that stellium poking me to act more independently. But, I have to invoke these placements to use them. Their powers were not innately fostered. I had to work to develop them. It's not an easy process but it is doable.
All that being said, if while under the
influence of this Libra Moon you feel indecisive, ineffective or torn
between trying to make everyone else comfortable and minding your own
sense of discomfort, reach for Saturn. Reach for your boundaries and
the reality of the situation. Bear in mind the true goal of what you
are engaging in and hold true to it even if it makes you
uncomfortable. Learn that discomfort is often a catalyst for change
and a clue to us that something needs to be balanced, adjusted or at
the very least, addressed in a forthright manner. Say, “no” when
you mean “no” and say “yes” when you mean “yes.” Avoid
going along just to get along and, instead, be willing to work on
problems that present themselves instead of just smiling and saying,
“I'm fine” when you aren't. I know it can seem easier to just
“put up and shut up” but in the end that builds resentment which
isn't any fun either. Reach for Saturn. Be effectively assertive and
stand your ground which you DO NOT have to be overbearing to do.
Again, there is a balance to be struck there.
It helps to know your “rights” as
an assertive person. Manuel J. Smith has illustrated some of this in
his work “When I say no, I feel guilty” (The Dial Press, 1975). I
will leave you with those “rights” to contemplate on your own.
Assertive Right I: You have the
right to judge your own behavior, thoughts and emotions, and to take
the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon
yourself. (You have the right to be the ultimate judge of yourself.
This the prime assertive right which allows no one to manipulate
you.)
Assertive Right II: You have the
right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify your behavior.
Assertive Right III: You have
The right to judge whether you are responsible for finding solutions
to other people's problems. (Any of us can temporarily help another,
but the ultimate solution, if any, has to be arrived at by each of us
individually. If you do not recognize your right to be responsible
only for yourself, others can manipulate you by presenting their own
problems to you as if they were yours.)
Assertive Right IV: You have the
right to change your mind.
Assertive Right V: You have the
right to make mistakes---and be responsible for them.
Assertive Right VI: You have the
right to say, “I don't know.”
Assertive Right VII: You ave the
right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with
them. (You do not need the goodwill of other people to deal with them
effectively and assertively. Your behavior does not have to be liked
or admired by those you deal with, nor do you have to be anxious
because you feel you may not be liked. We tend to assume that others
are too weak to cope with refusals for social activities or that they
will be offended or that a relationship is impossible to maintain
without 100% mutual agreement.) Josi interjects: In other words, if
you need to say “No” say it and don't feel guilty about it even
if the “other” person is always SO nice!
Assertive Right VIII: You have
the right to say, “I don't understand.”
Assertive Right IV: (and this is
probably my favorite) You have the right to say, “I don't care.”
Smith says, “The childish belief is that because of your human
condition you have many flaws. You must try to make up for this
humanness by striving to improve until you are perfect in all ways.
Being human, you will probably fail in this obligation, but you must
still want to improve. If someone else points out how you can improve
yourself, you are really obliged to follow his direction. If you do
not, you are corrupt, lazy, degenerate and worthless and therefore
unworthy of respect from anyone, including yourself. YOU HAVE THE
RIGHT TO SAY YOU DON'T CARE TO BE PERFECT ACCORDING TO ANYONE'S
DEFINITION, INCLUDING YOUR OWN.” Ha! How freeing is that? Are you
still with me Virgo peeps? That last one, I'm sure, was specifically
written for you.
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