I don't know about anyone else, but
yesterday was freaking busy! As a matter of fact, over the last few
days, my brain has nearly collected so much information that I'm not
really sure what to do with it all. Thankfully, I believe I have a
whole Mercury retrograde period to sort it all out.I also felt the sesquisquares above just about everything in the sky and, particularly, watched the one with Mercury which heralded a desire to “Speak up for yourself” manifest continually. Interesting day, indeed.
This morning, the Moon in Cancer is not
quite finished with us. She is waxing away from her grounding trine
with Saturn (1:44 AM) and moving into square with Mercury (6 AM).
Here she will likely try to digest any new information for breakfast.
By 2:38 PM, the Moon meets our Sun in
Virgo by sextile reaching Void status until entering Leo at 11:10 PM.
Since our Moon also squares our current
nodal axis early this morning, I thought I would share a little
something I learned as the nodal axis formed a t-square with my own
Capricorn/Cancer nodal axis.
I was pretty happy when I saw the North
Node move into Libra. You see, I'm a hardcore Libra with several
natal planets falling in the sign all of which fill up my 8th
house. Saying I've spent the majority of my life “Relationship
obsessed” would be an understatement.
The caveat to that, being relationship
obsessed, is that I have also learned a great deal about relating and
being a Libra in general. Saturn transiting Libra helped me to shore
up a lot of my relationship issues and taught me even more. So, when
the Nodal Axis came to Libra, I thought, “WOO HOO! I know stuff
about Libra that I can share!” LOL, you know?
Well, I do know stuff about Libra and
relating. Probably enough to say that I'm on the high end of the
learning curve here. But, much to the chagrin of my Uranus colored
chart, I obviously don't know everything.
When Saturn was in Libra, I wrote a
list of relationship criteria. I would just like to inform you that
was in the fall of 2009. By 2010, the person who fit all those
criteria walked into my life. I didn't know it then. But, 4 years
later, I can tell you he fits the description I wrote of a desired
partner word for word. I mention that only to let you know that this
“Defining to the Universe what type of partner you want” works.
And, to let you know. “Defining to the Universe what type of
partner you want” WORKS! (ahem...yeah, so be really sure you are
defining with specific detail).
That being said, as I was defining the
type of partner I wanted, I was also setting up a list of personal
rules or boundaries for what I would tolerate and what I would not
tolerate in a relationship. I thought these boundaries would be a
good framework to operate within as I actually tried to consciously
connect with someone instead of allowing relationships to happen
haphazardly.
Since then, the Universe has shown me
exactly where the gray areas are in my boundaries. There are places
where I have drawn lines. The Universe has come about to say, “Here is
this situation. It bumps your line in the sand. Still want to hold that
line?” Well, in a lot of cases, that answer was “No, not in this
gray area. That line kind of disappears.”
One very thick line I drew in the sand
was that I wasn't going to be the boss of a relationship and I
certainly wasn't going to be anyone's mother. I had come to place
where I no longer felt as if I couldn't live without...well, anyone.
Therefore, if my partner was not able to self-regulate, co-rule and
self-nurture, then Josi was out. Ok? Not happening.
What has been quickly revealed to me
since then is that in order to endure having a truly effective
relationship, there will be times when I will have to do exactly what
I said I wasn't doing. In every relationship, there are times when
two people cannot walk together side by side. There are times where
one person does need to take the lead. There are times when one
partner may have to take a nurturing supportive role. Because, part
of an effective relationship, is to be there to assist one another.
What if my partner got sick? Am I
saying I would not attempt to nurture him back to health? What if my
partner, no matter how responsible he was, needed me to take the lead
on something or needed to set boundaries of his own, was I going to
walk away from that temporary Capricorn call just because it didn't
fit into my pre-set personal rules? Wouldn't walking away from the
relationship at those times completely debase the possibility of my
long-term relating goal of emotional intimacy? What happened to my nice organized sketch of the relationship orders to be?
These are the questions and situations
that our poignant (smart ass?) Universe put before me. I answered
back with my own questions, “Is emotional intimacy worth all this?
Because, I'm thinking it freaking better be!” It's hard work, man.
This relating stuff. It can rip your guts out and put them back
together neatly for you. I'm maintaining my innate Libra faith that
it is worth it. And, thus far, I've been shown things that give me a
strong re-assuring inkling that, “Yes, the work is worth it.”
Long story short, what I learned from
the t-square on my nodes is that relating to others is a very dynamic
process. It's not enough to know all about the axis between Libra and
Aries. You've also got to counterbalance that (Libra) with the axis
of Cancer/Capricorn (our other two Cardinal energies). Sure, partners
should try to walk side by side and rule their relationships with an
even and fair hand. But, in reality, there may be times where one
partner is not able to walk right next to the other and a supportive
relationship should be able (and willing) to accommodate that from
time to time.
 |
| Insert circus themed music here |
Don't think for a minute that mastering
the other Cardinal Axis covers what it takes to be an effective
partner. You also have to incorporate a balance of ALL THE FREAKING
OTHER polarities. You also must learn to maintain your own self
worth/stability in the light of your own shadow and foster a sense of
equal energy exchange (Taurus/Scorpio). You also must learn to be a
friend/student and, at times, also be willing to be the
preacher/teacher (Gemini/Sagittarius). There are days when you get to
be the star and there are days when you have to learn to let that
star shine in the little networks you create through your
relationships (Leo/Aquarius). There may also be times when you have
to learn that you can love someone on that unconditional level
without allowing that fact to override your practical sense
(Pisces/Virgo). And, yes, to circle back to the beginning of my
point, there are days when you may have to be in charge or
provide a bit of nurturing to your partner. It happens in real life.
The key is to learn how to juggle all
these axis on a personal level and then, be able to juggle the same
energies in tandem with someone else. Hopefully, you choose a partner
who is a willing participant in that. It's also important to realize
that no one is perfect and, occasionally, a ball is going to be
dropped in this juggling process. That happens too. The whole process
is ridiculously dynamic with ALL KINDS of gray areas.
However, in my realization of this, I
also realized how much sense the whole whirling thing was. Of course
you need to learn to manage all of yourself (SN in Aries) before you
can offer parts of yourself up for sharing to someone else (NN in
Libra). It is a continual stretch and retract. It's a continual self
and relationship re-evaluation. It is a continual choice as to
whether we maintain the same juggling partner. It is a continual
exercise in exchange and compromise as the two of you move forward
still trying to maintain the juggling of these balls.
Where is the flowery soul mate lovey
dovey perfection in all of that? Because, it is a LOT of freaking
work (moans Libra). Is it worth it? Well, that's up for you to
decide.
Comments
Post a Comment