Morning Star: Daily Astrology for December 19, 2014

This morning we wake up to the Scorpio Moon waxing toward a conjunction with Saturn in Scorpio. If I were using non-astrology speak, I would say, “Good morning! I hope you have a great day! HEY! Watch out for those falling bricks!”

You know, I've been thinking about 2014 and what it has taught me. 2014 has shown me exactly how tough I am, how resourceful and has proven to me that I can most certainly take care of myself. I've learned that I can divert myself from self-destruction. I've also discovered HUGE masses of gunk in the underbelly of my psyche that I didn't realize were there. For the last 4 years, Saturn has been working diligently to show me what an asshole I can be. Seriously. On top of that, he has also shown me where those asshole tendencies originate...or WHY I can be such an asshole at times. It was horrible. Painful. Because, while I was inclined to berate myself for being a jerk, some of those memories that bubbled up having formed those masses of gunk in the underbelly of my psyche gave rational cause to some of my less savory behaviors. I had to look at each memory and then evaluate my actions in response to what happened to me and decide, “Ok. Do I want to continue to allow this to affect my life? Or, do I want to let go of it for good in an effort to be better, stronger, more compassionate and more conscious?” This was anything but easy. And, surprisingly, there were some pains that played a part in shaping me that were really hard to revisit and even harder to let go of. It was like cutting of a body part in some instances. The pain, the experience, had not only become something that happened to me. It was more than just a memory. It was a PART of me. Plus, becoming conscious of these things didn't make them magically disappear. I had to accept that some things cannot be undone and all I could do in light of that is to move forward with new awareness in an effort to be better while nurturing and forgiving myself along the way.

At the same time, I have learned to appreciate the moment. Present time was something that often slipped past me when I was trapped in the past or fretting about the future. I've learned to not be in a such a hurry. I've learned that “right now” is just as important as “back then” and “tomorrow.”

I've also grown from a boundaryless wank into someone who is hyper aware of codependent behavior and emotional manipulation tactics. This has had a huge impact upon my relationships and even worked to break some of them apart. I've learned to build emotional boundaries through an extended transit of Saturn in trine to my Pisces Moon. I'll use that knowledge to help me deal with Saturn in square to my Moon from Sagittarius in the year to come. The lessons I've tucked under my belt from the last year, which built upon Saturn's lessons from previous years, will serve me well in the future. I'm definitely not prone to undo all the work I've done thus far. I've freaking earned my Saturn belt, man. I'm going to use it.

Personally I'm tired of holding the line. When does the time come when we can misbehave? Wake me up then.

Our Scorpio Moon meets Saturn today at 4:12 PM. That aspect does NOT scream “YAY! PARTY TIME!” by any means. However it is not new energy either. The Moon meets Saturn by conjunction once a month, every month, no matter where Saturn is lodged. Just so happens, today he is lodged at the 29^th degree of Scorpio. From this point, Saturn expects us to know all about those thick calluses that steer our behavior. He expects us to move more wisely and responsibly in light of that knowledge. And, he is going to come back and test these degrees again in 2015. We will likely re-visit a lot of events happening now during his retrograde next summer both in our personal world and in the world at large. The discussions about torture, police actions, protests, sexual abuse, hidden prejudice, abuses of others based on sex, race or belief...ALL OF THIS and probably more will likely bubble back up and be assessed by the public and on a personal level again when Saturn comes back. Know that what you are dealing with on a personal level will likely be felt via reverberation during that retrograde, too, making the actions we take in light of those personal situations quite imperative.

As the Moon conjuncts Saturn today, it is an excellent time to do a realistic assessment of where you are, how you got there and exactly what is the best thing to do in response to maintain a sense of integrity and responsibility not only within the framework of our lives but also within the role we play upon the world's stage. It's a time to be mindful of our legacy. Tread slowly, carefully and consciously while making sure the decisions we make are based in rebuilding a more solid foundation in place of the foundations that have been irrevocably washed away. Ironically, a fortune cookie I received a few weeks ago sums this up quite succinctly. It said, “Let reality be reality.” And, yep, there you go.

On a mundane level, today could feel a lot like wading through mud until after the conjunction with Saturn in which the Moon reaches Void status before entering Sagittarius about 45 minutes later. By 5 PM tonight, we are ready to stop trudging. We could find ourselves physically tired, mentally strained and completely DONE with this day by then. Our bulldozers are out of gas, basically. This evening offers opportunity to lay down our tools to rest, recuperate and deal with the emotions that were put aside while we were working on excavations. Our Sagittarius Moon squares off with Neptune overnight (1:57 AM) while Mercury sextiles Neptune early in the morning (4:31 AM). Our island of Moon/Saturn becomes awash as the tides begin to rise.

This can play out literally through wet weather be it rain, snow, ice, sleet or even just fog. It can also be a personal watershed in which we should take efforts to nurture ourselves through because nurturing (Moon) from the outside world may be non-existent (Neptune). Much is likely to be processed in our dreams tonight so pay attention to the symbolism. At the same time, watch for those who try to put a glaze on the truth under Mercury/Neptune particularly those in leadership positions. There will be attempts to assuage the public's reaction to some of these worldly happenings with assertions that things have been blown out of proportion or that they are not as bad as we think they are. Remember that some folks in leadership positions are on a slippery slope right now and they are going to do everything possible to sink their claws into what little bit of power still remains. Be wary of that and don't be one of those people who does something underhandedly desperate at the same time. If you do, it is likely to come back to bite you. The temptation will likely be there. Some will give in to it. But, the strongest will maintain their integrity and boundaries regardless of what craziness occurs. Then, those with true strength will get themselves to a safe place to deal with the emotions at hand and repair what has been broken.

This all happens rather quietly and on a very personal level. It's highly unlikely that anyone will want to speak openly about what is roiling inside of them because they've not yet made complete sense of it themselves. Personal intensity is rising and there will be some expulsions and explosions in the days to come in light of that. So, today, trudge through what you must trudge through. Then, effectively deal with the softer parts of yourself so that you are on solid ground when this intensity peaks...because it hasn't yet. It will certainly be here for the holidays, though.

Tomorrow, Venus knocks up against Pluto and Uranus which is likely to kick things in all kinds of directions as we climb out of our current swamp. Deal with your personal lunacy tonight in an effort to be well prepared for that.