Have you ever been sized up? I'm contemplating this now as my little family unit has been described recently as “lacking,” basically. I can't say this has ever happened before—to my knowledge at least.
The story of it all has to remain hidden. It is of a personal nature for someone I love and although it IS about the entirety of my family, I can see rather clearly that it isn't about my family at all.
This is more about the person(s) who have made this assessment. However, it does make one stop and consider certain things.
What's interesting is we didn't know we were lacking. My little family actually does quite well. We live comfortably. We can't take large wonderful jaunts to foreign lands at our whim. We do have to budget. But, we are all generally happy and healthy. To me, this is a blessing to be cherished. Be it ever so humble..and all.
When I first learned that my family had been sized up as “less than” I laughed it off. I'm one of those lucky people with a lot of “I really don't give a shit what you think” energy (ie: Uranus). So, it's easy for me to pass over stuff like this usually. But, this time, I keep catching myself coming back to it.
I find myself trying to look at my little unit from an outsider's perspective and trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that gives the impression that we are to be pitied or shoved away like lepers. Or, what is it that sounds the alarm that “these people will amount to nothing.”
First of all, how is that even possible? How can a group of people amount to nothing when actually being a living and breathing person amounts to something. Being the embodiment of a soul IS something.
Is it because I've driven the same car since 2005 and even when it was brand new it wasn't anything extravagant? Is it because we live in a little ranch style house without a sunroom or spa? Is it because sometimes I sneak into my son's closet and steal his jeans to wear since I'm frustrated as HELL that you cannot find a pair of woman’s jeans without some type of elasticized something in it somewhere?
Do I stink?
I'll catch myself asking these questions on a silent and internal level. Then, I get mad. Why the heck do I even care? That whole scenario is just something that causes me to cycle right back to the original questions of “where is the perceived lack?” and wonder, “is there something I'm supposed to see/do here?”
I guess what it boils down to is we are not someone else's perceived ideal. And, even better, something about that bothers me. More pertinent, how much of my self-worth is weighted against “the other's” value. Ahhh...now we have an Astrological connection. I have Mars in Libra opposing Chiron in Aries.
Mars in Libra=driven by the other
Chiron in Aries=wound of “self”
Do you think I like to admit these thoughts exist even remotely in my psyche? Nope.
Will the thoughts of it still come back and haunt me from time to time whether it be through a chuckle or full blown “WTF?” Yep.
So, yeah. What do you do with that? Adjust your own attitude. Do you do this? If you do, it pretty much sucks to weigh the value of a person against what you manufacture in your mind as ideal—just so you know. Or, do you make adjustments in your own life due to someone else saying, “Hey, see those people over there. They aren't doing something right.”
I've a feeling this is going to come up with Mars in Libra and Mars Rx in Libra. Libra is balance. The scales. The idea of measurement. Make sure you are giving sufficient weight to the appropriate measures.