Devouring your ego in an effort to serve

My solar return for 2012 had my Sun and Saturn locked in my 12th house. What I've learned is a deep empathy for people who have 12th house placements or anything in contact with Neptune.
My moon is in Pisces (though in Sag for this solar return) and it squares my Neptune in Sag. So, while I'm familiar with sacrificing what I feel in an effort to feel what others feel..and subsequently try to help them..I've never had to do that with any other part of myself. Especially not my ego. Not my Sun and certainly not the "structure" of lessons that my life has given me thus far.
But, this year, I've had to learn to do that.


My natal Sun is in the 8th house. It actually sits right on the cusp from 8 to 9 giving it both a Jupiter and Pluto feel. Intensely strong ego--which isn't that common a problem for a Libra to have. We are known for reflecting others or giving forth a masked image that we believe will give others pleasure. But, with my ego on that cusp AND conjunct Uranus with Aqua rising, what you get is all the unusual parts of ME in a very overwhelming sense.
This 12th house solar return has taught me a lot. Namely, how to put my own experience and judgements on the back burner because they don't always apply. I get my own lessons. And, I've internalized them. But, what I've learned in the past has had little to do with what I've had to deal with this year especially in regard to any type of service I'm doing for someone else.
It's all new territory to me. I've had to learn to trust a higher source for answers and not draw from what I know through experience. I've had to let my ego dissapate and realize--"Hey, it's not you that has the answers. There is a higher source that knows better."
That was a whack to the ego and part of my own shadow that I've had to face. But, still, it's a bit comforting to know that I don't have to have all the answers.
For example, a girl came to me for a reading recently. I know her life situation. And, before she even began to explain her problem to me, I knew exactly what I wanted to tell her. She is a married woman having an affair with a married man.
This is a topic I'm way too prejudiced against. And, there are details of what is happening in her life---many things that relate to self-perpetuated drama---which set off triggers for me.
This girl wanted to know how she could help her lover. He is apparently struggling with..something. That she didn't give me the details of. But, she was concerned enough to come to me about it. My advice to her would have been, "Straighten out the mess in your life. Start there. That is the biggest help you can give anyone. Break it off with him. Focus on either getting a divorce or fixing your marriage and leave this alone." But. That didn't jive with the answers I was getting from her reading.
I had to resolve within myself that maybe there were things I just didn't know and/or understand and maybe there was a higher purpose to this relationship---after all, isn't there always---that I wasn't being given the priviledge of seeing.
It took me two weeks to actually give her the results of the reading. During which time, I questioned myself, stared into my shadow, argued with Spirit, and tried to understand. At the end of it, was the obvious.
The truth I receive from readings is not internally generated. Because, if it were, I would be telling her "this." I had to let myself go before I could follow what Spirit was trying to tell me. Set my ego out of the equation and accept that I do not personally have all the answers.
And, this has been the overall lesson of my Sun in the 12th during this solar return. Over. And. Over. Again.
In 2013, I'm sure I'll have some adjustments to make because my Sun pops out of that 12th house and lands directly conjunct solar return MC and Mercury in the 10th. Gone..but now you see me AGAIN!
The lady was grateful for her reading. And, she has given me permission to share it so that I can illustrate how different my message was from the one that Spirit had.