Sometimes I get fed up with routine. That typically goes one of two ways. I’ll either hang in there and look for the solid reason as to why I’m so dissatisfied and then do something to change it up productively. Or, I completely go right off the hook and do something disruptive, self-destructive, and unpredictable. The first option doesn’t lead to a dramatic display but rather gives me a subtle enough change to find a little break in an otherwise discontent day. The second can lead to unnecessary fights, hangovers, wrecked vehicles..all that fun stuff. In my teen years this was paramount. It was my thoughts that by doing these disruptive things I was in control of my life. “Oh yea…you want me to go to school today? Screw you, I’m talking a bum into buying me a fifth of Jack and I’ll see you MAYBE tomorrow.” LOL..now, who really got hurt in that instance? I could have went to school and did something different when I was there to break things up. Even now, as I’m older, this is something I battle with. You have a choice. Impulse or insight. Insight will serve you greater.
It does feel like a type of surrender. But I’ll tell you right now, it does absolutely no good to try to start a sword fight with ghosts or argue with werewolves. Let it go. See where your introspection leads you.
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