Irony

Irony Today, I prayed with a praying mantis. I walked outside to my “spot” and there he sat. So, I sat next to him and in our silence and in our solitude we found our connection to the universe. Oddly, we were separate entities living in completely different realities but in that moment we were balanced in both the same place yet..not. When the time I was allowed in the “spot” concluded, I glanced at him. My movement, I’m assuming, caused him to stir a bit and he turned his funny shaped head toward me. For a moment, we just looked at each other. I took three very deep breaths and I’m not sure if he mimicked this or if the breeze just lifted his body enough to make it appear that way. Last night, I went to my son’s football game. On my right I see my mother. Let it be known, I haven’t spoken to my mother in a very long time. We are not able to have a relationship at this time. This is the first game she has came to this year. And it only occurred after my son told me, “She is afraid you will beat her up if she comes.” I told him, “If I wanted to beat her up, I would have done so already and would not need her presence at your game to do so. Her not being involved in your life only makes me think less of her..as a matter of fact. I love you. And there is not a level of danger..perceived or real..that would keep me from your life in any shape or form.” I watched as my ex-husband walked behind me and went to sit with my mother. They seemed very amicable. Laughing. Smiling. At that moment, I felt completely alone in the world and was wrestling with myself. It was as if I was holding my ego in one hand and my heart in the other and my currently maturing “good sense” was staring me right in the face with her hands on her hips. Right then, I heard, “SERENITY! SERENITY! Don’t you run away from me! Get back over here!” I looked up to see a mother desparately calling for her child. Her name was Serenity. I had to laugh. And, I thought to myself, “Yes Serenity, don’t you run away from me.” Seconds later, I felt arms encircle my waist and that feeling of aloneness was gone. There was my ground. My husband. And, serenity returned. Irony. Do you feel it’s presence in your life? I, most certainly, do.