Pressurized

We all are. I keep telling myself that. But, there are actually some out there that are completely oblivious to it. It amazes me that more and more people care less "why" things are happening..but that is another story.

Let's talk about being pressurized and how it affects us. First, it boils those emotions right up the the surviace so that it takes much less stimulus to evoke them. You may fluctuate happy to sad; mad to laughing; it's unpredictable and so quick that it becomes harder and harder to control.

But you can control it. And you should, says Cardinal person, I.

And this story will illustrate why.

I like to go for drives on my lunch break. It lets me get the wind in my hair and get back in touch with the elements after spending my morning with the computer, phone and all the over communication we currently deal with in the US. My drives are a time for me to release some focus and tension, let my hair blow and listen to whatever music I want as loud as I want. And..sometimes that urges me to drive faster. Not good.

Today was no different. I had my drive and for some reason had chosen a classic country radio station (and..I hate country music) to listen to and I was pretty mellow. Not going to fast. But, I approached a four way stop in front of a hospital. Now, 4-way stops are a thing for me. I like to watch people go through them because if you catch it at the right time it works so haroniously around here. People are typically curteous and take their turn instead of cutting through really quick. It's nice to see. But, today there was a lady that flat out cut me off. She didn't even stop and she wasn't even going fast. She...just...came..through..the...intersection..at..her..own..pace..out...of..turn...and I WAS TICKED! I mean, I'm Libra and you were just rude---bitch!

Then, I caught a glimpse of the driver through the driver side window. She was maybe late 40ish. Her head was leaning on her hand and it looked like she barely had her other hand on the steering wheel. She was crying. Through tinted windows I could tell that something wasn't right. It just wasn't.

I had this irresistable urge to turn around and go after her. And I thought, "Are you crazy? What would you do if someone turned around and just started following you after you cut them off at an intersection. Are you trying to get shot?"

No, I wasn't trying to get shot and I listed to the warning from my subconscious but I didn't heed it. I turned around immediately and caught up with her. I was behind her at a redlight. So, I got out of my car while the light was red and went to her window.

It didn't even phase her. I would have pissed my pants if someone did that to me. She just looked at me with this blank hollowness that immediately made me want to cry.

I didn't know what to say, so I just started talking.

"Hi, you cut me off back there."

no response

"When i saw you go by, I noticed that you were extremely upset and I can see that I was right by looking at you now."

no response

The light is going to change Josi!

I know I know

"Look, I don't know you. But I feel that there is something wrong and there may be something I can do to help. If not, just tell me to go away."

"Can you drive me home?" the first thing she said to me.

this time, I said nothing

"I was just discharged from the hospital. I live alone. My husband and I were in a car accident several days ago."

"You live alone? Is your husband still in the hospital"

"no"...as she fell over the steering wheel in uncontrollable sobs.

o...m...g

I opened her door and took her hand and led her to the passenger side of her car. Then, I got in the driver's side and pulled her car over to a church parking lot.

The light had changed by now, and this was not a side road..it's a busy intersection. People were pissed. No worries, I told them where they could go. After I parked her car, I left her to go retrieve mine. Then, I drove back to her car as I called the police. After I called the police, I called the hospital and asked for the chaplain. After I talked to the chaplin I talked to the nursing supervisor. The police, the nurse and the chaplain arrived at about the same time and I watched as they spoke to the woman about her situation and how they could help etc. The policeman had a tow truck pick up her car and he drove her home. The nursing supervisor was abhorred that her emotional needs were not attended to during her stay. The Chaplain arranged for grief support and followed the police officer to her home.

I went back to work.

You may be pressurized. They may be pressurized. But we are all in this together. You might want to remember that.